


Sex and Puns

by dogmatix, norcumi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Don’t copy to another site, GFY, Goa'uld Jedi, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Masturbation, Originally Posted on Tumblr, based on Star to Steer By, not canon for that universe though, rescued from the tumblr purge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 16:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17511959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogmatix/pseuds/dogmatix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/norcumi/pseuds/norcumi
Summary: A non-canon bit of speculation in the Star To Steer By universe, about how new host Captain Rex might deal with downtime.





	Sex and Puns

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Tumblr on 03/17/2018. 
> 
> While this is meant to be canon-compliant for the [Star](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514793/chapters/7728092) universe, we're not actually treating it AS canon for a number of reasons. Norcumi just couldn't move past the age old question of "is it sex or masturbation (or mutual masturbation?) if a Jedi and host get it on with themself?"
> 
> For those who have not read nor care to investigate Star to Steer By, then what you need to know is that Jedi are essentially goa'uld -- symbiotic brain snakes -- and Obi-Wan is hosted in Captain Rex.
> 
> Yes, it is as strange as it sounds. But we hope it is also awesome.

There was something about the thrum of a star destroyer’s engines, particularly in hyper, that went right to Rex’s hindbrain and communicated ‘safety.’

He was willing to admit that maybe he’d been at war a little too long. But what other options had there been, really?

For a bit, he just luxuriated in the feel of a proper bunk with familiar sheets, the little sounds and smells that meant he was bunked down and safe for the moment. He let himself idly poke at the notion of re-upping for another tour, Mid-rim maybe, now that –

His eyes popped open and he stilled, because suddenly he was very aware of three very important things.

One, this wasn’t his cabin. His cabin was tiny, with a fold-down surface that pretended to be a desk, and just enough spare shelving to cram knickknacks next to his armor if he collected that sort of thing. This cabin was still on the small side, but there was a table and built-in terminal off to the side, and even room for two chairs. No knickknacks, though there were several more weapon cases sitting around than he’d expect, along with a few plush throw pillows (he thought?) on a slightly larger bunk than he was used to.

Two, he was _hosting_ now. He was carrying General _Kenobi_ around inside his head, and if he wanted to keep doing that, it would be several far different tours of duty than some just-noisy-enough mid-rim patrol.

He very much wanted to keep doing that.

Three, the privation of hiding in some backwater cave had worn off, and in that assured sensation of safety, his body thought it was about damn time he woke up rock hard.

While _General Obi-Wan Kenobi_ was still in his head.

There was that odd feeling-of-a-throat-clearing in his head. # _They…should have gone over this sort of thing in training._ #

Good news: still solid partitions between himself and the Jedi. Bad news: still hard. Rex rolled onto his back and tried not to groan, throwing his arm over his face in some useless attempt to hide a blush. # _Maybe for ARCs they do, but it wasn’t there for basic Commander training. Closest we got was dumb jokes in the dorms, but we weren’t THERE long._ # He could _feel_ the General’s similar awkwardness, and Rex couldn’t help a weak chuckle. # _Usually presumed that if we had to step up, things would be_ _enough of an emergency alread_ _y that this wouldn’t be an issue._ #

There was a pause, then faint in the background of his mind there was a hint of hilarity accompanying a murmur of, # _Not something that must come up often._ #

He hadn’t thought hosting would involve so many _puns_. # _Not so much, no._ # There had to be a simple answer here somewhere. # _What sort of…arrangement did you and 17 have?_ #

Kenobi snickered. # _He’d attend to those sorts of things when they happened, and if I objected, I could leave until he was done._ #

That was…straightforward. Awkward, but straightforward. # _I’m guessing he was that blunt about it?_ #

# _Do you_ _really_ _think Alpha 17 ever once in his life let shame influence his behavior?_ #

# _Good point._ # And since the General hadn’t had a host other than Alpha 17, it wasn’t like Rex could ask about other approaches. It would be much easier if he could figure out how he felt about things himself.

Well, that was an idea. # _General? Any opinions?_ #

# _Only that calling me ‘General’ right now is_ _just a little ridiculous._ # The droll tone faded, and Kenobi’s mental voice went soft. # _I neither mind remaining, nor am I discomforted. It’s your choice, Captain._ #

# _If you’re not a general right now, then I’m not a captain._ # He hesitated, curiosity getting the better of him. # _Do you get anything out of…remaining?_ #

# _The endorphin rush can be pleasant. Beyond that, I couldn’t really say._ _17’s business was his own._ #

It really made a brother wonder what the rate was for exhibitionists as hosts. Rex shook that notion off, then decided to commit.

It…probably didn’t help that his curiosity was kicking in. _Tally up another ‘weirdass life experience I never thought I’d have.’_ He rucked down the lower half of his blacks, feeling self-conscious about starting to stroke himself off. He didn’t have a consistent partner for blowing off steam, but he was more used to either solo activities which were efficient and to the point; or mutual byplay.

Not…whatever this was. Not that he knew how to define it, either.

Apparently his mental dithering was enough to poke at Kenobi. # _If you’re uncomfortable, I can–_ #

# _It’s fine, really. I just_ _feel like I should be offering a hand to you too. Or something._ #

Kenobi snickered. # _I’m not a queen; I don’t even reproduce. Besides, if we’re being fair about this, that would mean I should offer to assist you too._ #

Rex shoved an immediate, very _odd_ mental image to the back corner of his brain, because he’d seen some holonet ads before with Jedi wrapped around inappropriately shaped objects and that was _not_ a kink of his, thankyouverymuch. Why did people even _do_ that?

Damn it, too late. His curiosity had latched on to the desperate attempt to avoid certain mental images. # _And how would that even work?_ #

Wry amusement with a tint of embarrassment wafted through his brain. # _I might not have been a participant, but I’m not ignorant._ #

There might have been a shade of curiosity in there too. Rex considered that, considered his own curiosity, and the last time he’d let his curiosity lead him on sexual matters.

That’d been fun.

Shit, he’d gone too far down this path, and he’d already been considering a longer term stationing with the General. If matters went well, it wasn’t like Kenobi wasn’t in his head already. If they didn’t, both of them were mature sentients that could agree to step out while the other handled business.

# _Want to try?_ # Rex offered, keeping his phrasing and emotional content as neutral as possible. He was also working to keep the general thread of his thoughts open, because they didn’t need confusion over this.

It was a damned surreal moment, keeping up steady strokes of his cock, palm getting nicely slick while the Jedi in his head was considering what was basically a come on. Then there was the sensation of assent, and the slight mental nudge that was a request for some bodily control.

Rex was more than comfortable relinquishing it, and the grip on himself changed. It was a bit looser, at a slightly different angle than he’d try for, but moreover while it was his hand on his shaft– In a very real sense, it wasn’t his hand. He couldn’t predict the movements quite the way he could his own, and Rex’s breath caught because it was one of the kinkiest damn feelings he’d had.

Then Kenobi did something, Rex wasn’t quite sure what, but the feel of it all changed. There was a bit of…distancing, somehow, so that while it was clearly his hand, the sensation on his cock was of someone else’s hand at the same time, a duality of jacking himself off and another person gently working his cock at the same time.

He couldn’t stop an explosive curse, his hips bucking up into his hand because GODS, what a sensation! The shift back to direct sensation was a different jolt, while the immediate rush of emotion from Kenobi was a mix of apology and concern. Rex let out a shaky laugh, because of course the Jedi wasn’t stopping to detect _WHY_ Rex reacted, only that he had.

“It’s fine. _You’re_ fine.”

# _…You liked that?_ #

This time his laughter was a little giddy, because _really_? # _If it wouldn’t be utterly untoward, I would beg you to do that again._ #

The pause from Kenobi was almost long enough to be strange, then there was the polite mental nudge again. Rex was better prepared for the dual sensations this time, but he was surprised to hear himself let out a breathy, needy noise. He’d thought it would only be in his head, since Kenobi was piloting, but no, that had definitely been out loud. His lips quirked into a smile – rather, Kenobi did that – and the Jedi sounded rather amused when he said, “I know how to share.”

Fuck. Oh, fuck, this probably counted as sex with his Jedi and he had no idea what if any regs applied to that and Kenobi being _droll_ this way was doing some seriously interesting things to Rex’s physiology.

He could _feel_ the sensation of mischief as Kenobi started to curl his wrist with each downstroke. The play of fingers made his breath catch. “It’s fine,” Kenobi declared. “I couldn’t cite the regulations but I’ve looked the section over before.”

Rex grinned. “Should I be worried that you had to?” It was unfair that Kenobi wasn’t sounding breathless, even if it was an incredible turn on.

Kenobi sent the impression of a shrug rather than breaking rhythm. “I was young and wondered – not to mention 17 didn’t know, and I was still occasionally curious if I could, ah, get a rise out of him.”

Rex snorted in amusement, then bit back a groan as Kenobi shifted the grip. Nicely tighter, but still too slow and measured to the point where that pace was going to drive him mad. “Are you trying to torture me with – hngn – with puns, or that _pace_?” He could feel the faint resistance to movement, knew that if he actually pushed he could take control of his body but Kenobi was in fact _teasing_ by leaving Rex only in control from the neck up.

Fuck, that should not be that arousing by half. He hadn’t thought he had that kind of kink.

# _Nothing says it can’t be both,_ # Kenobi pointed out. He had to be able to tell what Rex was thinking – practice with partitions hadn’t been for anything this intense and he didn’t _mind_ sharing. Honestly, he rather liked the notion because if there wasn’t a shared aspect physically, then doing so mentally felt…nice.

Separating out who was controlling what of Rex’s body was _very_ nice.

“I suppose not. This – ah! – isn’t my normal thing.”

# _Say the word and–_ #

“Don’t you fucking dare on my account. I’m – I’m enjoying this immensely.”

 _Fuck_ , and Kenobi was gliding the thumb around the head of his cock in a way that was absolutely fantastic. It was the dual feel that really made it, the drag of callouses against sensitized skin in a way that he knew but moving in new, wonderfully unpredictable ways. Rex was genuinely starting to wonder if they’d be rolling over to rut on the mattress because the way Kenobi was teasing, his body wanted that much _more_.

It…might have been awhile since he’d last shared downtime.

# _May I try something?_ # Kenobi sounded hesitant, a little speculative. Still far too calm for partnering on fantastic sex, but Rex was getting used to it. It wasn’t clinical distance, just not affecting him physically. Kenobi’s mental presence was still warm, supportive, intrigued.

“Go for it,” Rex groaned, wanting to buck his hips harder against his hand. He didn’t push past that mental limit, didn’t take control, and it felt wonderful to _almost_ be squirming with need that was just a few centimeters from being fulfilled.

Kenobi lifted their other hand, shifting around on the bunk until their feet were braced on the mattress and knees high. Their eyes narrowed a little, and Rex could feel that gentle warmth behind the eyes that was Force use.

He could also feel impossible movement sparking up _inside_ , pleasure like he was somehow fucking himself on a toy or a partner that knew all the best angles. His head went back, eyes fluttering closed as he bit back indecent noises that were liable to be too loud even for private quarters in Officer country. Rex managed to limit himself to hissing “fffuuuuck,” quiet and emphatic and disbelieving. It didn’t quite feel _real_ , not without being teased open or use of lube but there was still the right sensations of a shaft gliding inside him and teasing along his prostate. # _FUCK, yes please!_ # he managed mentally, because actual words were swiftly becoming beyond him. Kenobi twitched their lips into a smile, shifting both hands and finally starting to speed up the pace.

It was an intense buildup, just fast enough to be powerful but still being a nice compromise with Rex’s usual efficient approach. While the Force manipulation started making regular contact with every sweet spot inside him, his movements kept a steady pace even as his breathing got more and more ragged, all of it driving him closer and closer to the edge without quite tipping over.

Then Rex pushed past the soft limits on his body, taking control to slide his palm up his cock, turning the wrist and getting that last little bit more of contact. Now the control swapped over, Kenobi stilling their vocal cords even as Rex’s body arched, his head back hard into the pillow and cum spilling warm over his hand and stomach. His mouth opened in what would have been a loud, gasping keen, but was now only a soft, pleasured whine. The pleasure was searing hot and amazing, wrapping around him and settling in as his body slumped with a few soft, shaky breaths.

That shouldn’t have sounded quite so loud in the cabin as it did. When Rex finally felt coherent again, he grinned. # _I do hope that was good for you too._ #

He wasn’t sure how Kenobi was sending the impression of a gentle smile at him. # _The endorphin rush was quite pleasant, and I enjoyed it._ # There wasn’t quite enough time for the pause following to become awkward. # _I’m glad you enjoyed that too._ #

Bit of an understatement, that. Rex huffed and shook his head, feeling lazy, sex-sated, and _good_. “That was amazing, thank you.”

# _I’d say ‘my pleasure,’ but…._ #

He snickered and shook his head, twisting to see what he had at hand to clean up with. Ah, hells, now he was doing it too. “Does hosting usually come with this many puns?”

# _Only in the best quality assignments,_ # Kenobi declared with a ridiculous amount of prim amusement.

“Then why am I getting them left and right?” he joked. When his head went back and he laughed, he wasn’t entirely sure which of them was responsible for it.

Probably both, given how very _good_ it all felt.


End file.
